Free At Last
by SpikyG
Summary: Can Clarke accept the fact that the choice Lexa made at mountain is the right one? Can she move forwards with the knowledge that she would have made the same choice? Will Lexa ever forgive her for the innocent that she killed? Will Lexa every be able to forgive her for what she had done out of anger?
1. Chapter 1

**FREE AT LAST.**

Lexa's POV:

She made the right decision to save her people. She knows it, her people knows it even the Skaikru came to accept it after a while. Yet she still bleeds for the blonde leader who has been missing since the mountain fell. Lexa knows that even if the blonde can forgive her one day that she has messed up big time. Clarke will never look at her the same way she did before she walked away leaving Clarke defenseless.

It's been 3 weeks since Clarke defeated the mountain and walked away from her people. 3 weeks since anyone has seen Clarke. Lexa went to the Skaikru's camp when they got word that the mountain has fallen to see if she and the Triku could be of any assistance. Upon arrival they were sent away but the one who is called Bellamy stepped in and stopped her and the Triku from leaving. He said that although he is still mad that he forgives her because he would have done the same.

3 weeks of Lexa sending scouts out to search for the blonde who is a hero in the eyes of all the warriors on the ground. Day in and day out Lexa handles the business of her people but at night she will pace her tent and wonder how long till one of her scouts come back with words that she never want to hear. That Clark was found dead. As each day passes Lexa begins to fear the worst. Her people are trained to find people in these woods. If none of her scouts can find Clarke then something bad must have happened.

Today was no exception. Lexa is tired after a long day of handling business amongst the twelve clans. As she steps into her tent to unwind after the day she is interrupted by Indra.

"Heda?"

"Sha Indra."

"One of the scouts are back and says he needs to speak to you."

"Let him enter." Lexa says while sitting down on her throne. She knew one of these days the scouts will come back with news. But after 3 weeks of waiting for this day she really doesn't know what to expect.

"Heda."

"Sha?" she asks in patience knowing that she can't show her impatience or irritation towards the scout.

"Heda, the Skaikru's leader was nowhere to be found so I ventured towards the mountain. That's where I picked up her trail. Heda, she has been living in a cave not far from the mountain's entrance. I watched her from a far for two days before coming back to make sure she doesn't leave. During the day she goes into the mountain and stays inside until night fall when she returns to the cave and sleep. If one can call it sleep."

"Is she still there?" Lexa asks the scout. As he spoke she started to wonder what the blonde is doing that keeps her inside the mountain the whole day. Is she planning to attack her people? Or is she trying to figure out how the mountain worked so that she and the Skaikru can use it?

"Sha Heda. But Heda she is tormented during the night. She cries and screams the whole night till sunrise and when she comes out of the cave it looks like she is more tired than she was when went in to sleep. It looks like as the days passes she is getting more and more tired." The scout says boldly knowing that what he just said can get him killed but the skaikru girl has saved his life once. He has much respect for the girls who defeated the mountain's demons without an army.

"Enough. Leave and go to your family. Tomorrow we ride for the mountain so that I can see for myself." Lexa says as the scout walks out.

She knew Clarke will have nightmares but what the scout said made her realize that she may have done too much damage to the blonde. Since they met Lexa has only caused Clarke pain. Finn was the first wound caused by her and then Ton DC when she saved Clarke but forced Clarke to not tell anyone. She really thought that it would stop there and that they will fight together until the end of their days, but then came the mountain and the choice she had to make. She never had a choice her people always come first. She stayed true to the plan until Emmerson came along. If only Emmerson never saw her. If only one of her warrior could kill him before he opened his mouth then she would not have had to leave Clarke alone.

Lexa turns in for the night knowing that tomorrow she will be able to see the blonde who has turned her world upside down. Tomorrow she will find out what Clarke is up to inside the mountain. Tomorrow she will convince Clarke to return to her people so that she can start to heal. Tomorrow holds a promise for a chance to make it up to the blonde. But for tonight she will rest because judging from the past Lexa will need all the strength in the world to deal with Clarke.

Before falling asleep Lexa whispers to the empty room "Tomorrow we will meet again Clarke"

 _A/N: tell me how it is. First time ever writing any sort of story. I'm a big fan of the 100 and seeing how most people thinks that Lexa is bad guy for leaving Clarke I wanted to take a different approach. Cause in reality Lexa isn't the bad guy. There was no choice for her. She did the right thing. But tell me and it's up to you guys. Should I continue or should I rather not write ;)_


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke's POV:

Waking up every morning I do the same thing before I go back to sleep at night. Day in and day out I go to the mountain and I walk through those doors to the hell hole that was once lock behind it. It's been three weeks since I arrived here. Three weeks where I have questioned my actions and the actions of Lexa. In those three weeks I have come to hate everything about the person I become since landing on the earth. Deep down I know that what happened that night wasn't Lexa's fault but I won't believe it. She left me at the mountain defenseless. She turned her back on me and my people. I will forgive her someday just not soon.

Three weeks of going down to level 5 and walking amongst the bodies. Burning their faces into my mind before I walk amongst the halls to see what it was about the mountain that everybody feared. I came to a conclusion. It wasn't the mountain that was feared or the people. It was the skills of these people that have set everybody on the edge. It was the skill of turning grounders into reapers. It was the skill of making acid fog. It was never about the people or the mountain. It's always been about their skill.

The grounders feared the Skaikru before the alliance. They were afraid of our technology. I know that Lexa will show up in the next few days. Not because she want to see me but because one of her grounders has seen me come in the mountain. Lexa is afraid of what I would do. She is afraid of my people and me becoming the new mountain men. She will never come for me.

I haven't just walked these halls every day for nothing. I looked around in searching of things I can take with me to continue my journey. Luckily I have gathered enough things to move forward. Now it just to wait till night falls before I break away from this place with all its demons. In preparation I decide to see if I maybe can blow up the place or if I can at least burn the bodies on level 5 so that they may rest in peace. By this time tomorrow I will be gone and Lexa won't find me this time so fast. I hope at least.

Lexa's POV:

Indra looks likes she is ready to murder me. She's been fuming since I told her we leaving for the mountain immediately. This morning when I woke up I knew that Clarke is going to run. I don't know for sure but I have this feeling in my gut and as Heda I always follow my gut feeling. Indra wanted to wait till tomorrow before heading out. She said that the sky girl won't leave.

Nearing the mountain the events of the night I left the sky people alone starts filtering my mind. I run through the events to see if I could have done something different to keep the alliance in tack and not taking that deal. The plan was perfect up to where Bellamy failed. He didn't get the prisoners to the back so that they can get rescued. Emmerson got the prisoners to move to the front. So that he could make the deal and he knew that I had no choice but to accept it. I just hope that Clarke can see it that way. I did hurt her by leaving her side. It sounds childish but I left Clark. It killed me to leave her, turning my back on what could have happened in the future if I didn't break her heart in that moment.

"Heda?" Indra asked getting my attention.

"Sha Indra."

"It's about an hours' time before we are at the mountain."

I keep riding rolling my eyes where she can't see me. I know this woods, I grew up in them. With every tree we pass the reality of seeing Clarke again is setting in. I know that she is going to be surprised and angry but I will make her see differently. My goal is that by the end of today Clarke will return to her people.

 _AN: hope it is okay. I will put another chapter up tomorrow to make up for leaving you guys so long. Had an injury during softball practice and messed up my hand. Healed enough for now to type at least. Enjoy it. Thanks to everyone who fav, followed and reviewed._


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke's POV:

The first rays of sunlight are shining through the trees making the night fall away and if it her fail attempt at leaving this mountain for good. She tried to run last night but the rain started to fall heavy and suddenly. No clouds were in the sky before sunset. But with sunset came the rains and her inability to move forward. All she hopes for now is that Lexa will not come today. She is packed and ready to go and she will go today but she needs a few hours to get far away and cover her tracks so that Lexa can't follow her. Otherwise it will be all for nothing.

It's been a while now since Clarke started her journey into the woods. Running in a direction where she doesn't know where she will end up is not bothering her now at this moment. The only thing that goes through her mind the whole time running is that she needs to get away before Lexa arrives. She kept running in the same direction not realizing that she is running in the direction that leads to Ton DC. The same direction where Lexa will be coming from in just an hours' time.

With every step she took a heavier feeling settled on her shoulders. Not thinking anything about it she just keeps pushing forward with no destination in mind. She just can't face Lexa at this moment, afraid that when she is faces to face with her the only thing she'll see is disappointment. Day by day Clarke has slowly forgiven Lexa for leaving her but she neither admits it to anyone nor shows it. She still needs answers but she has already forgiven her for it. Clarke is so caught up in her own thoughts that she doesn't hear the noises coming towards her or the voices that is the source of the noise. She keeps going and sees that the path is making a corner in front. Knowing that she can't run through the woods at this point for she will lose the path she just hopes that she is far enough for Lexa not to catch up or find her.

Lexa's POV:

From here on out the path will be easy towards the mountain. Just one more corner to round and it will be half an hour before they reach the mountain. Lexa keeps her eyes and ears open for any sign of danger and for signs of Clarke. What is she is too late and Clarke is already gone again? What if the blonde girl kills her before she can talk to her? As Heda she has never second guessed her choices but since Clarke fell from her sky she has been curious and second guessing a lot of things. This is why love is a weakness. A weakness that the Heda can't afford.

Suddenly footsteps and heavy breathing is heard just before something bumps into Indra's horse. Looking down Lexa sees a blond headed girl stumbling back before falling on the ground and the blood in her body turns to ice as her eyes meets the person's eyes on the ground. She can see all the emotions in those eyes just like she saw them the night in the tent when she kissed those lips. Just like she saw the heart break in those eyes the night she turned her back towards her. Lexa gets off the horse to kneel down next to Clarke to make sure it is not her imagination, but that she is real. She was afraid that she won't catch Clarke but then the sky girl ran into her best warriors' horse. This must be fate. They should have met again. Neither of them could run away from this moment, the spirits knew Clarke would want to escape but they prevented her from getting away. They send her in this direction.

"Hallo Clarke."

"Lexa?!" Clarke says out of breath.

Clarke's POV:

"Hallo Clarke" those words awakened all the anger and quilt inside of her heart. Looking into those eyes she knew she has to say something bur her brain has stopped working the moment she laid her eyes on her. This is what she tried to avoid, as it turns out she ran right into her.

"Lexa?!" is the only word that comes to mind as she stares into eyes that is slowly breaking down her walls by just meeting her once again. Why did she run this way? What was is about Lexa that made her blood boil and calm at the same moment? The universe has some sick sense of humor. Lexa sense that the sky girl going to try and run so before the blonde can even stand up Lexa holds her own hand for Clarke to take so that she can help her up.

"Clarke, don't run. Please just hear me out before you take off." Lexa states looking deep in her eyes.

"No commander. I need to go. You broke the alliance you walked away there is nothing to explain or talk about." Clarke says before turning to walk away. But Lexa grabs her arm and looks towards Indra.

"Indra, go to the mountain we will meet up. Set up camp and secure the perimeter. Leave one of the guards to protect Clarke and me but make sure I don't see him. Now Clarke we will talk in privacy until we reach the mountain. Once there you can decide what you want to do but first you will hear me out."

"Who do you think you are? You can't force me to do stuff that I don't want to do. You might me the Heda of the grounders but you will never be my Heda or anything to me. You made sure of that by the mountain when you took the cowards way and ran away." Clarke says angrily trying to get out of Lexa's hold.

"Clarke, listen and listen carefully. Yes I left but I didn't take the cowards' way out. Bellamy failed is part of the mission. If I didn't take the deal then all my people in the mountain would have been in danger. According to our plan they were supposed to go out the back. We were the distraction, but because Bellamy failed his part the whole plan failed. You were the one who wanted to give up before hand, when it took raven too long to get the door open. I stayed true to my word till the end where it failed. So I made a choice in war to still get my people to safety and I don't regret it. "Lexa says loud and in a voice full of authority so that Clarke will listen.

Looking in Clarke's eyes she can see that the blonde leader understand her choice but won't accept it. Well Lexa didn't come here to receive acceptance, no she came to get the blonde to return to her people. Just as Lexa thought the blonde is going to run again Clarke surprised her.

"Fine commander we will talk and I will listen but you will listen to me too, but when we are done I'm leaving and you will have to agree to never search for me again. And that you will never return." And with that they turned towards the mountain and start the journey back. Lexa knows that she will have to play her cards right if she wants Clarke to return to the sky people. She has an hour to change the blondes mind.

 _A/N: Like I promised another chapter for leaving you guys so long. Look it won't be a long story. Its already coming to an end I'll post the last chapter on Saturday. Who else is excited for the new season that starts tonight? This was just a story to explain why I don't see lexa as the bad guy. She never was._


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke's POV:

Lexa thinks she won this round but sit isn't over yet. I will run just not yet cause she is faster and so much stronger than I am. No yet. But the moment we reach the mountain I will escape. She won't ruin my life again. I know what she said about the night make a little sense but she still left me alone. She can't explain that one so easy that I will just let her off the hook. She still left. Something I wouldn't have done.

"Clarke look I know what you think but just listen to me." Lexa said while looking at me from the side.

"Lexa, no. We can talk once we are at the mountain not now. I'm still trying to get over the shock of you being here and the fact that I ran into you. I was supposed to be gone by now. So that you can't put any ideas in my mind like you are going to."

"Clarke shof op and listen. I will not put any ideas in your head. I admit I wanted to but not anymore. Will you just listen to me for a few minutes? I have to explain why I did it."

"Fine commander talk, you have a few minutes but if I don't like what I'm hearing then I will stop you and you will keep quiet till the end of this path where we will go our separate way."

"Sha Clarke. What happened that night wasn't betrayal towards the Skaikru. It was only a decision I had to make in the war. I told you that plans change in war Clarke. I warned you that the plan might fail. I warned you Clarke but you were so sure that Bellamy wil not fail that you didn't try to see it my way; if you did maybe we could have come up with another plan for back up. But you had to much faith in Bellamy that you did not even realize that he could mess up."

"Lexa you still could have said no to the deal. You could have stayed and fight with us. But because of you I had to kill innocent people. Because of you I have nightmares every night. You didn't see them suffer. You didn't see them burn and you didn't see them trying to take their last breaths without it hurting. Lexa you did not just leave that night but you took my will to lead my people with me when I had to press that button."

"Clarke you are not thinking clearly in terms of the war. If I stayed it would have been a blood bath and my people would have been dead before we even got in the mountain. I did what I had to do to save my people, just like you did to safe yours"

"That's it Lexa. It was a blood bath. But not by your hands, by mine. Mine! Not yours, not any of the grounders. Mine Lexa, MINE! We came down to earth believing we could live our lives again. We thought we can build a life for our kids and grandkids. A life that is filled with peace. A life where people can have more than one child. But you and all the grounders had to ruin that for us. We are not used to war like you people. We are not used to kill others or used to make life saving decisions. Lexa since we came down it has been one heart break after the other. I can't take it anymore Lexa. I want to be on my own with no responsibilities but my own."

"Clarke we do what we must. We survive. That's what we do. You and I are the leaders of our people and we do have more responsibilities when it comes to our people but it's our destiny Clarke. You cannot out run your destiny. Clarke I won't apologize for my actions of that night I will however apologize for breaking your heart and your trust. But one day you will come to understand my choices. It had nothing to do with you or the feelings that we shared through our kiss. It solely had to do with my responsibility towards my people."

"Lexa I don't want to just survive anymore. I've survived long enough on the ark. I want to live. That was my goal when I heard we are coming to the ground. To live not survive anymore" Clarke screamed at Lexa in frustration and hurt.

All she wanted to do her whole life since her dad got floated is to be able to be happy again. To be able to life a live were politics and stuff didn't matter. This earth is big enough for all of them and there are enough resources for them all to life a long and happy life. Why did they have to go to war at all?

She just wants to forget everything that happened since landing on this ground and start fresh. Will she be able to? Looking at Lexa she decides just to make a run for it. Sure Lexa might catch up but she might not follow me. Her few minutes are up and it looks like she has said what she wanted to. It's now or never. So here goes nothing.

And with that Clarke took off towards the woods running as fast as her looks could take her hoping that Lexa won't follow her.

 _A/N any thoughts. I haven't watched season three yet cause it isn't out in SA yet. Or not that I know off. Hope it is good. I said it will be done by Saturday but it might get two more chapters that I will put up one tomorrow and one on Sunday. Hope it is any good I suck at writing but this has been playing in my head since season 2 ended. And to get rid of it I had to write for everyone that followed, favorited and reviewed._


	5. Chapter 5

Lexa's POV:

Lexa looks dumbfounded as Clarke suddenly bolts into a sprint. She just stares after her for a few minutes before realizing that Clarke is getting away in the woods. Doesn't she realize that I know these woods like the back of my own hand? She should know that I can find her and that she will not get away so easily. Looking in the direction where Clarke has disappeared she sees two of her warriors running after Clarke. I really should have tied up that girl.

Now I have to either run after her or go to the mountain and wait for my men to bring her back. What to do? She will put up a fight either way but maybe it is best if I handle this myself than my men that can be so brutal sometimes. Deciding what my plan of action will be I start my journey in tracking the blonde down. It will be so easy just to catch her but I did tell her I will leave her alone after we are done talking. We aren't done talking. Maybe she is but I'm not. There is still so much I want to tell her. I should just let her go. If the spirits wants us to meet again in this life we will. With that she tracks down her men that is on Clarke's heels and commands them to leave her. I know she heard me tell them to leave her. She stopped and turned back for a second looking straight at me before continuing her journey.

Once back at the mountain I see Indra and the other waiting for me so that we can go inside the mountain. Going down there will be our first time entering the reason for so many of our nightmares and fears. I don't know what to expect or what to find down there. Clarke is no threat after hearing her talk moments ago. So I don't need to worry that she is going to start a war with us. But curiosity still wants to know what she has been doing down here for three weeks every day. Looking around all the walls I wonder how these people could live for hears down here. Not feeling the sun on their bodies or seeing the beauty that's outside. I would have gone crazy trying to stay in this place.

Walking into the eating hall and seeing the horror of all these people laying on the ground with the blisters on their skin I can't help but wonder if Clarke will ever be able to be the same after what she did. She slayed all the grounders' dragons when she brought the mountain down but at what cost? Walking away that night costed me the potential of something special between Clarke and I. But victory stands on the back of sacrifice. Still at what cost does the sacrifice come at? With my situation it cost me Clarke. Could it have cost Clarke more than what she thinks?

"Indra."

"Sha Heda?"

"Get our men. We leave for Ton DC immediately to get more people down here. I want the bodies of these people burned. Most where innocents so they require our respect. We burn them as soon as we can so that we can sit this behind us. Move forward and maybe we can start to live instead of surviving."

"Heda, we have always survived. We weren't meant to live we were meant to survive. For generations our people have known nothing other than just surviving."

"I know this Indra. But maybe Clarke is right about one thing. Did the people before the earth was destroyed live or did they survive? We have peace for now. Let us enjoy it for a while before we have to face an enemy again."

"Sha Heda. We should camp near here tonight, get some rest and then tomorrow we go back."

"Fine Indra. Let's ride for an hour before setting up camp."

And with that we went on our way. I couldn't really sleep knowing Clarke is out in the woods alone yet again. It hurts knowing that she won't listen to me. "May we meet again Clarke." I whisper into the night. Hoping the spirits will look after the one person that has been on my mind since I took the deal that night.


	6. Chapter 6

Clarke's POV:

After hearing Lexa's command to her men I couldn't believe my ears. Why did she give up so easily? Does she know that I'll never be the same again? I know I shouldn't care so much but I can't help wondering as I run through the woods. With every step I take I can feel the distance starting to weigh on my shoulders. Shouldn't I be relieved of being away? Or is it that my heart actually wants to hear Lexa out. Well I can't turn back now. It'll show that she still affects me and I can't have that. Not now that I understand why she did what she did. Not now when I see that my plan did fail and it left Lexa with only one choice. Which indirectly left me with the choice I had to make to safe my people. I guess that plans doesn't hold in war but they sometimes do change.

Does this mean I'll go back to my people? Maybe soon I will return to them. But when I do I don't want to be seen as their leader. I only want to be one of them. Being a leader is a great responsibility for some but for me it's a curse. If I go back I want to be able to live not survive. Is this the end of seeing Lexa? I may hope so but I don't believe so if the feeling in my gut is anything to go on. Someday we will meet again and it won't be on the next horizon. It will be on this one. I just hope that if that day comes I'll be ready to face her.

 _ **A/N: ok I know it's a very short chap but it's the end of my story. It took me a while to write this cause I was stupid and went against my doctors' wishes and got my hand hurt again. So couldn't write but now this is done. It might be a bit of a letdown but that's all I wanted the story to be about. The perspective that Lexa isn't a bad guy. She had no choice. I'm busy writing another story. But its an AU and it will be better. Just want to get a few chapters written before I start posting. As for everyone who favorited, reviewed and followed thank you and I hope it was ok.**_


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